


Nothing Compares to You (My Love)

by Marveljunkie, wincestgoddess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Dean, Comforting Sam Winchester, Crying Dean, Cuddling & Snuggling, Kissing, M/M, Nightmares, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 07:02:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13289571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marveljunkie/pseuds/Marveljunkie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wincestgoddess/pseuds/wincestgoddess
Summary: Touch starved Dean has no idea how to handle touch post hell. Sam tries to help him work through it, but Dean is clamped tighter than a clam shell...





	Nothing Compares to You (My Love)

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be y'alls new year gift, I wanted to have it done by then, but stuff happened. But hey, I'm only a couple days late. SO here. Happy new year!!!

Another successful hunt, another long drive. Sam looks over at Dean, curled up in an unwilling ball in the passenger seat. At first glance he looks peacefully asleep, but Sam can tell he's restless, twitching and mumbling to himself. 

Sam sighs and looks back to the road. Dean hadn't been the same since he came back from hell, but he doesn't know what to do. Dean refuses to acknowledge his struggle and instead prefers to act like it's all fine. 

A minute or so later, Dean flinches awake, mouth parting on a soft gasp. Panting, he takes a frantic look around and relaxes just a bit when he realizes where he is. Home. He's home. With a heavy sigh, Dean rubs a hand over his face and hopes Sam didn't notice anything. 

Sam's eyeing him out of the corner of his eye but otherwise acts like he didn't see anything. He looks over a moment later and gives Dean a little smile. 

Dean does his best the return it. "We almost there?" 

"Yep." Sam nods. "Just a few more exits." He casually slings an arm across the back of the seat, letting his fingers brush the back of Deans neck. "Hungry?" 

Dean instinctively flinches away from the touch and shakes his head. "Not really."

"Kay." Sam nods. He frowns to himself at Deans flinch. Gonna need to test this out a few more times. 

"I just need a bed so I can sleep." Dean murmurs, staring out the window.

Sam gives Deans shoulder a quick squeeze and draws his hand back. "Yeah. Me too." 

They go on in a somewhat tense silence til they reach the parking lot. Sam parks and gets out, ready to bump shoulders with Dean as they head in, but Dean twists out of the way. "I'll book the room. Get the stuff." 

Sam blinks at the sudden change but follows the order, letting Dean lead him into a room with two beds. He blinks again as Dean takes a seat and immediately pulls out his flask. Something is definitely going on. He intentionally brushes past Dean as he heads toward the other bed. 

Dean flinches again and takes a longer drink. "You mind not smashing me, Sasquatch?" 

"Huh?" Sam gives him an innocent look. "What am I doing?" 

Dean huffs and shakes his head, capping the flask and standing up. "Forget it. Just, stay out of my way, you giant." He tries for teasing. 

"Why?" Sam pretends not to notice the strain in Deans voice and teases back. "I thought you liked me." He loops his arm lightly around Dean and kisses his ear. 

"I do." Dean bites his lip and wriggles away, giving Sam a strained smile. "I'm just. Not in the mood." 

"Could get you in the mood." Sam smiles and reels Dean back in by his belt loops, leaning in for a kiss. 

Dean makes a muffled surprise noise. He tries to give in but ends up pushing Sam away. "I said I'm not in the fucking mood! It wasn't an invitation for you to assault my goddamn mouth." 

"Since when do you turn down a fucking kiss?" Sam asks incredulously. "Dean, you never push me away like this. What's going on?" 

"You can't just go around kissing people when they tell you no!" Dean ignores the question and looks away. "I'm fine. Just tired, okay?" 

"De..." Sam looks hurt. "We're together. We kiss. I wanted to kiss you. You said no to sex, not kisses." 

Dean swallows thickly, avoiding Sam's gaze. Dammit, he knows that upset tone. "Maybe I don't wanna be kissed either." He mumbles. 

"Why not?" Sam steps closer, but doesn't touch. "What's wrong, De?" 

Dean barely resists the urge to step back when Sam moves forward. "Can we just go to sleep?" He asks, eyes still down. 

"Yeah, sure." Sam says, stepping back a little and taking off his shirt. "But I'm gonna sleep with you tonight." 

Dean lets out a tense breath through his nose. "I thought we agreed on separate beds." 

"You never asked me." Sam shrugs. "Cmon, I promise I won't jump you in your sleep." 

"Fine." Dean huffs. "Just don't hog all the covers." He undresses and gets under the covers, carefully staying on one side. 

Sam bites his cheek to keep a straight face and turns off the light, sliding into bed next to him. 

Dean turns on his side, facing away from Sam. Hopefully he can get some sleep tonight.

Sam has other plans... But he gives Dean some time to settle before pushing again. He scoots closer and lays a hand on Deans shoulder. 

Dean tries to wiggle away but there's not really anywhere to go. "Shh." Sam murmurs. "Come here." He grips deans bicep and tugs lightly. 

"Sam..." Dean warns, rolling over to face him. 

"I wanna be with you." Sam says softly. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable." His grip on Dean loosens.

Deans expression flickers guiltily. "I know. Can we just... Be close without touching?" 

It's an odd request but at least it confirms what Sam suspected. "Can we, back to back?" He suggests. 

"Yeah." Dean manages a little smile and licks his lips. "That's... That's okay." 

Sam smiles and rolls onto his side. He lets out a content sigh when Deans back touches his and closes his eyes. 

It takes some time for Dean to relax, but eventually he manages to fall asleep. 

Sometime later, Sam wakes up. It takes a moment for him to figure out why, but then he hears it. Dean is whimpering softly and twitching in his sleep. 

Sam sits up, biting his lip. Touching is apparently out of the question, so he resorts to talking. "Dean." He says firmly. "Dean!" 

The second time Sam says his name, Deans eyes pop open and he jerks up. "What? Where--" it finally clicks where he is as he slumps back down on the bed with a shaky exhale. 

"Here." Sam says. "You're here, with me, in a motel. You're safe." 

Dean closes his eyes before turning to meet Sam's eyes. His shoulders relax when he sees Sam. No black eyes. 

"You're safe. I'm safe." Sam continues quietly. "We're okay." He reaches out at an almost glacial pace to touch Deans shoulder. 

Surprisingly, Dean doesn't pull away. When Dean doesn't flinch, Sam slides his palm up to cup the side of Deans neck, squeezing gently. There's a moment where he almost seems to almost hungrily lean into the touch. 

"We're okay." Sam repeats gently.

Deans lower lip quivers imperceptibly and he takes a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. "Y-yeah." He breathes, letting his face tip into the touch. "I know. M'sorry." 

"S'okay." Sam murmurs, inching closer. "It's okay." His hand slides down Deans arm and to his waist, pulling gently. 

Dean hesitates but his body moves on his own and he ends up in his brothers arms. He lets out a choked noise at the skin on skin contact. It's been so long... 

"Shh." Sam mumbles, pressing his cheek to Deans hair as he gathers his brother to his chest and pets his back gently. "I know." 

"No..." Dean struggles halfheartedly against the hug, despite the aching in his chest that makes him want more. "I can't. Let me go." 

In one swift move, Sam is on top of Dean, hands on either side of his head as he lays his full weight on Dean. "Why not?" He asks, staring down at him. 

"Cause..." Dean trails off and looks away guiltily and closes his eyes. "I don't deserve it." 

Sam leans down and nuzzles his cheek tenderly. "You do." He murmurs. "You deserve whatever I want to give you." 

Dean closes his eyes tighter and shakes his head. "No." He whispers. "I don't. I'm a monster!" 

"You're not." Sam's voice hardens and he presses Dean further into the mattress. "And you do. I love you." 

Dean Inhales shakily and shakes his head. "Why would you do that? You deserve better." 

"I deserve to get what I want." Sam says, pressing a kiss to deans cheek. "I. Want. You." 

Dean shivers slightly at the kiss, torn between the urge to pull away and his desire to kiss Sam. Kissing wins out and he turns his head a moment later and catches his brother's lips in a breathtaking kiss.

Sam kisses back, trying to pour everything he can into the kiss. He slides his hand down to Dean's hip and the other into his hair, sighing softly as he coaxes Dean's mouth open. 

God, it's been so long. Hands touched him all the time in Hell but never like this. Never with this tenderness and love. He wraps his arms around his brothers neck and exhales shakily, making a needy sound into the kiss.

Sam moans and licks into his mouth eagerly, kissing his brother passionately. He shifts on top of Dean and settles between his legs, the movement rubbing their cocks together. Dean moans at the sweet friction, hips bucking up.

"Yeah?" Sam murmurs, kissing him again. "Gonna let me?"

"Yeah." Dean pulls back from the kiss to look Sam in the eyes, taking in his blown eyes. "Yes." He licks his swollen lips. 

Sam smiles and leans down to kiss him again. He lifts up a bit, trying to push their boxers off. Dean helps as much as he can, biting Sam's lower lip and tugging gently. 

Naked, Sam settles down on top of Dean again, rubbing their hips together. "How do you want it?" He asks softly. 

"Just touch me." Dean whispers. "I just want you to touch me... like you used to." 

Sam rolls them over, putting Dean on top. He strokes from Dean's neck down to his thighs. "I've got you." He murmurs, giving Dean's thighs a gentle squeeze. "I've got you." 

Dean shivers and leans down to kiss Sam's neck, sucking gently. Sam moans and squeezes Dean's ass, kneading the round cheeks and slipping a finger between them. 

"Fuck..." Dean arches into the touch, silently begging for more. "Cmon." He whispers, biting Sam's pulse point. "Want you. Now." 

"Patient." Sam gasps, fumbling for the lube. "Gotta stretch you first." He presses a kiss to Dean's mouth, kissing his protesting pout. "You'll have me." 

"Don't wanna be patient." Dean breathes. "Need you now." He takes the lube from Sam and lubes Sam's fingers for him, pushing his fingers behind him. 

Sam chuckles breathlessly and immediately presses two fingers into Dean. "Soon. Promise." 

"God, yes." Dean moans.

Sam doesn't waste time, thrusting and scissoring his fingers. "Cmon, more." Dean groans, rolling his hips back into Sam's hand. 

Sam shifts them onto their sides and hitches Dean's leg higher up on his waist, getting a better angle to shove his fingers deeper. "Need it so bad, don't you." He whispers, staring into Dean's eyes. 

"Yes." Dean moans, reaching up with one hand to cup Sam's cheek and lean in for a hungry kiss. "Need you so fucking bad." 

"Shh." Sam murmurs between frantic kisses. "Just a little bit more." The third finger eases in and Sam twists his wrist, fingers searching. 

Dean gasps sharply when Sam's expert fingers find that sweet, sweet spot inside him. He whines and rocks back desperately against the digits."Fuck me, fuck me. Please." 

"Yes." Sam murmurs. "Yes." He rolls Dean onto his back and kneels up between his thighs. He lines himself up and pushes in, moaning softly and reaching for Dean's hand with his clean one. 

Dean lets out a long chocked moan when Sam finally pushes in. It feels like coming home...not unwanted or intrusive. It's Sam and Dean forgot how good it feels. 

Sam bends down to press kisses to his neck, nibbling gently as he sldies in. "God." He mumbles. "You feel good." 

"You too." Dean's eyes flutter shut and he wraps his legs around Sam's waist, squeezing gently with his legs and Sam's hand. 

Sam sighs, free hand teasing across Dean's stomach, teasing his fingertips over the tip of Dean's cock. "Missed you." He murmurs. "Missed this." 

"Sorry." Dean pants. "I couldn't..." He trails off with a soft moan when Sam's palm closes around his cock. 

Sam presses his lips to Dean's jaw and jerks him off as he rolls his hips, fucking Dean deep but taking his time. "I will always want you." 

"Sammy." Dean gasps, arms wrapping around Sam's neck. He feels like a fucking teenager with how close he is already, but it's been so long. 

Sam kisses him hard, licking into his mouth as he touches him. "I love you." He whispers.

Dean pulls back to look into his little brother's eyes, feeling warm and overwhelmed by the pure love he sees there. "I love you too." He murmurs. 

Sam nuzzles his cheek, a move that nearly feels more intimate than a kiss. "God..." He thrusts a little harder. 

Dean threads his fingers through the soft hairs at the nape of Sam's neck, tugging lightly. "I'm gonna... gonna come." He pants, head falling back against the pillow. 

"Yeah." Sam gasps, rubbing his thumb over the sensitive spot right under the head of Dean's cock as he sucks a mark on Dean's neck. 

Dean's inner muscles squeeze Sam's cock as he tightens, his back arching as he comes with a cry of his brothers name. Sam moans and drops his head to Dean's shoulder. "Fuck.. Dean!" He comes a moment later, holding him tightly and panting against his neck. 

Dean wraps his hands around Sam's back, trying to catch his breath. Sam doesn't pull away, and Dean clings to him, feeling warm and safe for the first time in fucking forever. He doesn't feel the tears start but he hears the shaky sob that he lets out, unbidden. 

"Shh." Sam soothes, reaching up to card a hand through Dean's hair. "I got you." He kisses Dean's shoulder.

Dean turns his face into Sam's hair, his tears getting the best of him as he cries in his brothers arms. "I didn't mean to push you away." he hiccups. "It was just too much." He sniffs. "I couldn't remember it feeling so good." 

"I know." Sam murmurs. He rolls onto his side and pulls Dean close, tucking his head under Sam's chin. "It's okay." 

They stay like that for a while, Dean crying softly as Sam tries to comfort him. "You really don't think I'm disgusting?" He asks quietly, wiping his eyes before looking up at Sam. "You don't... you don't hate me for what I did down there?" 

"I love you." Sam says softly, brushing his fingertips across Dean's cheek and through his hair. "I could never hate you." 

Dean leans into the touch now, seeking it out instead of flinching away. "I love you too." He sighs softly. "Sorry I've been a dick." 

Sam draws him back in and kisses his cheek. Dean smiles. "Now we really gotta make up for lost time. Now that I'm no virgin." He winks with a grin. 

Sam rolls his eyes and lets out a short laugh. "Fine. We can do that." 

"Don't act like its a chore!" Dean chuckles and pokes Sam's dimple. "Admit it, you missed my sweet ass." 

Sam bites his lip. "Missed you more."

Dean's gaze softens. "You too." He caresses Sam's cheek. "Missed you too." 

Sam smiles a little and kisses his palm before shifting up to kiss Dean on the mouth, soft and sweet. 

Dean melts into the kiss, sighing softly against Sam's mouth. He will probably still have nightmares, but he's no longer afraid of Sam's touch. 

"Cmon," Sam murmurs, rolling on to his back and pulling Dean against. "I need more sleep." He yawns. 

"Go ahead." Dean smiles and snuggles closer. "I think I'm gonna stay up for a while.: 

"Mmm." Sam holds Dean tighter. "Just don't go anywhere." He kisses Dean's temple. 

"I won't." Dean shakes his head.

"Good. Sam lets out a long breath and drifts off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that everything is okay.


End file.
